Decisions, Decisions
by Zesty Bod
Summary: Lucas is the dependable one. House is the one who sets her soul on fire. Cuddy has some decisions to make. Spoilers for "Known Unknowns."


**DECISIONS, DECISIONS**

House had tricked himself into thinking that Foreman being the boss was a good thing. It meant less responsibility, less interaction with dumb patients, and more time solve the puzzle without any interruptions. But as House sat at his computer watching a fresh batch of pornography while his ducklings ran around doing all the tedious work that he hated, he was reminded of exactly why he enjoyed being in charge of his department. Ordering his minions around was such a joy.

So while Foreman ran some tests and Chase and Cameron danced around each other and their crumbling marriage, House's eyes were fixated on a pair of grade-A breasts as a woman bounced up and down and made loud, obviously fake sex noises. House couldn't help but compare the porn lady's breasts to Cuddy's. And he hated himself for that. Ever since his very unpleasant discovery about the secret relationship between Cuddy and Lucas, House had been doing everything he could do avoid her. He didn't stop by her office. He didn't call. He didn't generally make a pest of himself like usual. He would never admit it, but the truth was that his feelings were hurt.

House supposed that he really couldn't be surprised. After all, a curvaceous and independent woman like Cuddy could only stay single for so long. But what bothered him the most was that he hadn't seen it coming. He'd missed all the signs. He'd been so caught up in trying to figure out a game plan to woo Cuddy that he had completely ignored any flags that she might not be interested anymore. It made matters worse that she had run to Lucas: a guy who had been the closest thing to a friend that House had back when he and Wilson were on the outs.

All in all, life sucked at the moment. The woman of his dreams was dating a moron, and despite his best efforts, House was not getting anywhere with Cuddy. His new plan was just to ignore her for the rest of his life. Maybe after twenty-plus years of pining for her, avoidance was the best strategy.

"Where's your team?"

Cuddy's smoky voice penetrated the sounds of sex on House's computer, and he rolled his eyes. So much for his plan to never see her again.

"Doing doctor stuff," he said, not taking his eyes off of his computer. The last thing he needed to see was a hot-looking administrator who had no intentions of making his fantasies reality.

"And why aren't you doing some of that same doctor stuff?" she asked, approaching his desk. "Now that you have your license back, you don't have any more excuses."

"Busy," he said shortly, still determined not to look at her.

"Yeah, sounds like it. Turn that off. I want to talk to you."

"Nope. Thanks, though."

House heard Cuddy shuffling around on the other side of his desk but he kept his eyes glued to his screen. A few seconds passed and then his screen went black.

"Hey!" he said, finally looking at the she-devil as she appeared in front of him. She couldn't have looked more gorgeous if she'd tried and that only made House more upset. "I was watching that."

"No porn during work. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

Before House could respond, Cuddy planted his hands on his desk and her ample chest came into view.

"Well I guess if you're going to stand like that, you might have to tell me a million times," House said, zeroing in on her breasts. Cuddy smirked and then dipped her head down to come into his line of vision.

"You've been avoiding me."

"Wrong."

"Not wrong. I haven't seen you in a week, since the conference."

"So what?" House asked, getting up and grabbing his cane. He definitely did not want to have a heart-to-heart with Cuddy, not after he'd opened himself up to her and been so handily rejected.

"So," Cuddy said, stepping in front of him and crossing her arms. "Every time you need something, you send one of your team members to ask me. You've actually been doing your clinic hours so I won't have a reason to come after you. You're avoiding me."

"Fine. I am."

House brushed past her into the team meeting room, but Cuddy was right on his trail.

"Because of the Lucas thing?"

"Nope."

It was a lie, but House figured that Cuddy didn't know to know all that. His pride had been damaged enough already.

"Then why?"

House stopped walking and turned around, causing Cuddy to nearly run into his chest. "Because you're annoying. There. Satisfied?"

Cuddy made an annoyed face and just as House was about to walk out, she grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"House," she said in that tone that he both loved and hated. He didn't look at her but he didn't make much of an effort to get out of her grip either. "I don't want this to mess up our friendship."

House said nothing for a few minutes and then slowly turned to look at her again. "What friendship?" he asked seriously. "We're not friends and we never were."

Cuddy's expression looked to be one of genuine hurt, but House didn't care. She had hurt his feelings…stomped on them really. He had been ready to open up to her. He'd danced with her, looked her in the eyes, and told her that he had always had a thing for her. Hell, he had even offered to babysit her little diaper filler and all he got in return was a kick in the stomach.

"We fucked twenty years ago and we've been getting on each other's nerves ever since," he said, angry that he sounded so depressed over her rejection of him. "I don't care about you and Lucas. You give yourself way too much credit."

He removed his arm from her possession and pushed the glass door open, leaving Cuddy alone in the conference room.

…

Therapy had been good for House in a number of ways. He'd kicked his Vicodin habit, gained a new outlook on life, and had generally become happier. But one of the downsides of that mushy crap was a new sensation that House always tried to keep buried: guilt. He hated guilt because he felt it a useless emotion. What was done was done and there was no reason to over-think things that couldn't be changed. But lately, after some soul-searching, the burden of guilt had begun to weigh on his shoulders. Rather than brushing off other people's feelings like annoying flakes of dandruff, House felt guilty when he did something wrong.

And tonight, the guilt was weighing especially heavy. All day, he hadn't been able to get out of his head the things he'd said to Cuddy in his office. He'd said worse things to her for sure, but he still felt bad about his abrasiveness and general attitude towards her. He supposed that he really couldn't be mad that Cuddy had moved on with her life. That didn't stop it from hurting, though.

When he couldn't get to sleep, House realized that he had to get the guilt off his chest. So he rode to Cuddy's and walked up to her door. He raised his hand to knock but then lowered it. What if Lucas was over there? The thought of it made House want to just run back to Wilson's apartment and forget the whole thought of apologizing. He raised his hand to knock again, only to lower it again. He did this for several minutes, unsure of what he would say or do when he saw Cuddy. By the time he turned around and made up his mind to just leave, he heard the door open.

"Were you ever going to knock or were you just going to stand out here all night?" Cuddy asked. House slowly turned around and took in the sight of her wearing a silk robe. Her hair was pulled back and she looked sleepy, but still sinfully sexy.

"How'd you know I was here?"

"I heard your bike. I looked out the window and saw you hesitating and I thought I'd put you out of your misery."

House only nodded and they stood in silence for a few moments before Cuddy spoke up again.

"So what do you want?"

"I don't really know," House admitted. He shrugged and sighed and tapped his cane on the ground. He looked everywhere but at Cuddy and she slowly opened the door for him. She left the doorway and House thought for a short minute before taking up her invitation and walking inside her house. He shut the door behind him and walked into the kitchen, where Cuddy was putting on some tea.

"So…he's not here?" House asked.

"He doesn't stay here all the time," Cuddy shrugged.

House said nothing as he took a seat on the couch in the living room. Cuddy joined him a few minutes later and she looked at him while he looked at the floor.

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings," she said lowly. "With this whole…situation."

"You must think I'm pretty pathetic," he responded, eyes still looking at her wooden floor. "You've been keeping this secret for a long time."

"I don't think you're pathetic, House," Cuddy said, still looking at him even though he wouldn't return the favor. "I care about you. I didn't want to hurt you, especially since you were just starting to recover."

House turned his head just slightly, but enough for their eyes to lock. There was one big question floating around in his head and before he could censor himself, it flew out of his mouth. "You love him?"

Cuddy's eyebrows furrowed a bit as she contemplated the question. She brought her legs underneath her body and shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I do in some ways."

"What ways?" House hated that he had to know what Lucas had that he didn't, but it was eating him up inside.

"House, don't do this," she said softly.

"I want to know."

Cuddy looked at him for a minute and sighed. "He's sweet. And dependable. And good with Rachel."

"That's it?" House asked. "That's why you want to be with him?"

"Those are three big things, House," she said with a sarcastic laugh. "I'm a mom now. I can't think selfishly like I used to. You and I have done this back-and-forth two-step for so long and it's not healthy. I don't want Rachel to have to see somebody coming in and out of her life as he pleases. That's what you'll do."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," he sneered, his pride once again wounded. Cuddy's eyes softened and she leaned over and gently touched his arm.

"I'm not saying it to hurt you. I'm saying it because I know you. That's how you've always been. It's okay for me, but it's not okay for an impressionable little girl who needs stability. I can count on Lucas to be there for her."

"How do you know that I won't be there?" House asked, staring into her clear eyes. "You haven't even given me a chance."

Cuddy stared at him and House wasn't sure what was going through her head. She looked guilty, confused, and unsure…which in turn made him feel those same emotions. He hated being so vulnerable, so at the mercy of this woman. He would only get his heart crushed in the end.

"Forget it," he mumbled, using his cane to get up from the couch. He turned to leave but Cuddy quickly hopped up and moved in front of him.

"I don't want to forget it," she said, looking at him with those eyes again.

"Then what do you want?" he asked.

"I don't know," she admitted softly. "I want Lucas. I want the calmness he has to offer and the predictability for Rachel. I want to know what to expect from the guy I'm with." House lowered his eyes, feeling defeated.

"But at the same time," she continued, "I want…what you and I have." House slowly raised his eyes to hers again, realizing that she was talking about him.

"What does that mean?" He asked, but House already had a pretty good idea of what she meant. Lucas was safe, predictable, and the guy that society told Cuddy that she _should_ want. On the other hand, House was erratic, abrasive, and completely undependable. Yet, he could tell by looking at her that Cuddy loved those things about him. She wanted him. She just didn't _want_ to want him.

"He's boring, isn't he?" he concluded. Cuddy's cheeks turned red but she shook her head.

"No, he's not boring."

"Yes, he is. He's _too_ predictable. You don't like that."

"House, Lucas is a good guy and he's good for Rachel."

"But is he good for you?" he demanded to know, already sure of the answer. Cuddy hesitated for just a millisecond too long and House felt as if he was back on track. "Is the sex that bad?"

"House!" she said, her cheeks really burning red. "I'm not going there with you."

"He's younger than you are. He should be able to keep up with you. So what's so bad about it? He likes the same position over and over? Stroke's no good? Or doesn't he know that underneath that administrative façade, you actually like to be dominated in bed?"

"House!" Cuddy nearly screamed. House could only smile at the panicked and utterly sexy look on her face. At that moment, he was willing to do or say anything to be the one that she chose.

"He doesn't get you hot like I do, huh?" he asked, boldly putting his hands on her hips. Cuddy swatted at his arms but House distracted her from that by moving her backwards until her back was pressed up against the wall.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her voice a mixture of frustration and anticipation. She wanted to seem angry but House knew better. The flutter in her neck, her wide eyes, and her sudden increase in breathing all pointed to one painfully obvious fact: she was aroused.

"Wow. All I had to do was put my hands on you and you're ready for a roll in the sack. I guess it doesn't come that easily with Lucas."

"Who's giving himself too much credit now?" Cuddy asked. She pushed his hands away and attempted to leave, but House pinned her in with his arms. He lowered his lips just a hair's length away from Cuddy's and he heard an audible gasp.

"So are you trying to tell me that you're not completely turned on right now? With me this close to you? Teasing you like this?" he whispered, his lips so close to hers that they actually brushed when he spoke. Cuddy's eyes fluttered close for a brief minute but then she opened them again and House could tell that she was doing her best to remain indifferent.

"Yeah. That's what I'm saying," she said in that low, sex-operator voice that drove House insane.

House couldn't help the smile that was forming on his face. He might not have been Mr. Right, the ever-dependable family guy that Cuddy was trying to convince herself that she wanted. But he did have one very important advantage over Lucas, and probably every other guy that was trying to claim Cuddy as his own: she lusted for him. House had never quite understood how she could be so attracted to him. He didn't think of himself as a very good-looking guy and he certainly didn't have the greatest body in the world. He had a huge chunk of his thigh missing and he walked with a cane. He was rude, annoying, and scheming.

But for some unknown reason, Cuddy was incurably attracted to him. And it was time to use that to his advantage.

"Soooo," he said in a teasing tone, suddenly grabbing both of Cuddy's wrists and holding them behind her back with one hand. "If I put my hand in your panties, my fingers wouldn't come out all wet?"

Cuddy lowered her eyes at him and tried to give him her best administrative face, but it wasn't working. House was convinced. Lucas might be the good boyfriend and good father figure, but he didn't do it for her. Not like House did.

"Don't you dare," she warned although she was making very little motions to stop him as his free hand slowly undid her robe. House ignored her, watching as the robe fell open and revealed her white silk nightie.

"Mm," he smiled, his eyes falling on the hardened nipples that poked through the fabric. He gave her a questioning look and Cuddy shook her head.

"It's cold in here."

"Right." House ran his hand down the side of her nightie and pulled it up, revealing her smooth legs. "Damn. You look good."

"House, stop," she said in a soft plea, still doing nothing to get out of his grip. He wasn't holding her wrists that tightly so she could have gotten out of it. That only served to convince House further that she wanted it. She wanted him to touch her, kiss her, and make her feel that sinful burn of pleasure.

"You don't mean that," he said, looking into her eyes. "But if you have to keep saying stop in order to make yourself feel better, go ahead. I'm going to do what I want with you so you might as well enjoy it."

"This isn't good for Rachel," she weakly. It was her only defense for why they shouldn't just give in to each other.

"Rachel's asleep, and she doesn't have to know that her Mommy has a thing for cripples." As House's hand ran over the top of Cuddy's panties, he lowered his mouth to her neck and gave her skin a long, slow suck. He heard her breath catch in her throat but she didn't allow any sound to come out. He ran his tongue from her neck to her ear and the quietest murmur escaped her lips. House's hand slid inside her panties, gliding over a patch of hair and then stumbling upon a pool of warm and silky wetness.

"Ooh, Cuddy," he teased in her ear. He smiled as she squirmed underneath him. "You're a dirty girl. Getting this wet for me."

"I was already wet. I was right in the middle of touching myself when you pulled up."

House pulled his head away from Cuddy's ear and stared at her, and he grinned at the serious look on his face. She was going go to fight him until the end, and he loved it. She refused to admit that she was outrageously attracted to him, and that only made the foreplay that much more fun.

"Well I guess I'll have to finish what you started, won't I?"

Before Cuddy could come up with any other ridiculous lies, House trapped her lips with his. He sucked her lips and then buried his tongue in her mouth and within seconds, she was kissing him back. She broke free of his grip and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his body closer in the process. She rolled her hips into him and House groaned. He slid a finger inside her and Cuddy moaned into his mouth. He added another finger to the mix and rubbed his thumb over her clit and she hissed.

"God, House," she whispered as he pumped his fingers in and out, teasing her swollen clit with every motion.

"I could make you cum in so many different ways," he said in a low gruff voice, watching her face as he pleasured her. Her eyes were closed, her mouth open and cheeks flushed. "I could finger you, eat you out, or fuck you until you scream so loud that you wake your baby up. Which one do you want?"

As he spoke, House curled his fingers into the "come here" position and Cuddy's mouth flew all the way open and she arched her back off the wall. She gripped his shoulders and rode his fingers, moving her hips to feel as much of them as possible.

"Tell me," he demanded, taking his thumb off her clit. Cuddy opened her eyes and the look on her face was enough to make House nearly cream his pants.

"I don't know," she said, her voice impossibly lower and smokier. "I can't think right now."

"Does Lucas get you this hot?"

"House," Cuddy whined, his fingers no longer moving inside her. "Don't tease me like this."

"Answer my question like a good girl and I'll let you cum."

She rested her head against the wall and closed her eyes again. She tried to move her hips to get him moving his fingers again, but he pulled them away from her.

"Finger me," she said softly.

House smiled and started moving again. He lowered his mouth to Cuddy's and kissed her like it was going to the last time they ever saw each other. The sensations of their kissing, clit stimulation, and penetration were obviously sending Cuddy over the edge because she started breathing harder and thrusting her hips more forcefully. She tightened her grip on his shoulders and when she started to whimper, House knew she was just about at the end of her rope. She pulled her lips away from his and threw her head back as an orgasm ravaged her body.

"Oh God House!" she screamed. "Fuck!" A string of curse words flew out of her mouth with each spasm and House watched with unabashed pleasure. He'd often fantasized about the way Cuddy would look in the throes of passion, and the real thing did not disappoint.

As she was coming down, House slowly removed his fingers and hobbled into the kitchen to get a towel. He wiped off his fingers and then returned where Cuddy stood, dazed and satisfied. She hadn't bothered to close her robe or get herself together, and House tossed the towel onto the floor and gave her a once-over before leaving her house. He opened the door and said one last thing to her.

"Tell Lucas I said hi."


End file.
